When It's Hard To See Ahead

On a commercial break, the radio announcer quoted King David: "I present my requests to you in the morning, Oh God, & wait with expectancy".... I had a number of prayer requests on my heart that day & really pondered how much "expectancy" I make my requests... In truth, I pray & set about trying to put legs to the problem. A particular friends' request weighed on me heavily: The baby would have milk, but momma needed gas money to get to work. I prayed sincerely then realized I would be tied up all day & wouldn't have a moment to "work on" this as promised....
Hours later, I simply found a gas card lying on the floor of my van. I had searched for that very card many times...to no avail. At a critical moment in one of His kids' lives, God literally laid it out before me!! I laughed aloud...for hours. He is so awesome!! & I so untrusting.
I have been blessed to watch God pouring out His abundant love for many of His children these past months. His grace, His mercy & His timing fill me with awe, with wonder & with a giddy glee. I am also overwhelmed with gratitude for those who allow me in to watch. Thank you !

I Can Have Roses Later

My front window is brimming with Black-eyed Susans in such abundance that each year I give them away by shovels full. I long to mix in lilies, hyacinths & all manner of floral dreams. The bed however, is bordered by a basketball & skateboard court. It is a graveyard for toy vehicles of all sizes resting as it does, at the bottom of "the hill of death". Out back, the large blossoms of my Bee-Balm must be removed from the snarls of the gate-latch nearly every day & tethered back. The roses which cascade over our steps often lie bent or broken. One of the blessings of being an older parent is a better understanding of how fleeting the seasons of life truly are. I will have a lifetime of gardens... for now, I live in the magical world of play & imagination!

Neighborly Wisdom & Mirth

I was blessed to join an impromptu gathering collected around a neighbor who was puppy-sitting. Lulu-Bell is a newly weaned, Miniature Cocker Spaniel whose cute-rays are absolutely over-powering. Pam had us all in stitches as she regaled us with tales of this tiny, "paws-with-ears" standing it's own against her black lab. She especially endeared herself to me when she declared, "A puppy brings the nice out in 'everbody'".
We shared & laughed until the pinks & peaches of the evening, gave way to the mauves & blues of dusk. I secretly longed for a writing pad, but was was able to commit one other bit of her wisdom to my memory: "It's good to have a bit o' torment every now & again~ reminds ya you're alive." As my husband would say, "boy, howdy"...I surely have been alive this past year !

Compared To....Who?

We had spoken of comparing ourselves to others. In doing so, we completely miss the point. Keeping up with the Jones' leads us far away from the mark for which we should be aiming. We cannot judge ourselves by what others do or find acceptable. We must only look to Christ to find out who *He* wants us to be.
After group,I stood in the church parking lot & gazed above the warehouse rooftops, watching as God began a spectacular show of light & hue. I stood watching Him paint the blue sky with lavender-grey clouds & spread a beautiful peach light across their bellies... I called out, "Wait ! You're missing the show ! He's just getting started!" People were calling out to one another as they climbed into their cars & left. How could they just ignore this? I walked across the parking lot & reached for my camera, but I never took a shot. Looking up, I realized from where most of the cars had been, the brilliance of His work was out of view. If they had remained where they were, they would have missed it entirely. It is easy to judge others with our own, limited vision but the closest we can come to seeing through their eyes is to try to see through His.

Thorns & Mirrors

Sometimes life feels like the bad ending of a good movie. It would have been altogether different had those I placed my trust in done the right thing…or, at least if they had not remained focused on themselves. Where is the justice? What do I tell my child? Does anyone have integrity these days? I cry out, “My God ! My God! ” It amazes me that He who has the whole universe to run hears my pleas & my anguish. In gratitude, I approach the Throne. I am once again, reminded how I often I let Him down… The flaws I am so angered by in others are my very own. I must turn & tend to the log in my own eye … and I must learn to forgive as He has forgiven. As he hung dieing, His final thoughts were of me. His final words were a petition of forgiveness for those who put him there! How can I so readily point the finger at those who would persecute me, when Jesus died for them?
Following Christ is not an easy journey. The Bible reminds me that I do not travel alone. He accompanies & strengthens me for that which I know I must do…

Carried Up

It crept in slowly & insidiously, consuming my joy as it ate away my options. The stuff of this world had stolen in & before I knew it, I was overtaken by "the giant that is made of shadows." I shut down...closed off. Those who knew me, lightly attributed the cause to this or that; but there were deeper storms raging inside the bubble I had built. I see more clearly now how it was a spiritual battle.
One-on-one time with my Saviour enabled Him to chip away at my bubble & I began to heal. When my ability to carry the burdens of others was restored, I could see how my self-absorption had severed lifelines I may have thrown to those drowning nearby. Though I worshiped & prayed, I was cut off from the suffering around me. In the midst of my own darkness, prayer for others connected me & carried me up, even when I lacked the energy or desire to do so.

Broken Dreams

Often we try to go it on our own & before we can stop it, a wake of tears & pain fill the lives of those around us. Psalm 16:7 tells us, "... the Lord has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me..." Some call it our conscious, while others call it our sinful nature. I call it our selfish nature. Hearts remain whole when we heed "His still, small voice" which is within our very being. Romans 2:15 clearly tells us He has written His Holy Word on our hearts. When we can't find the strength to approach the throne ourselves, we can turn to those who will clear our vision of the things of this world.