Passages

My earliest years are filled with awe & wonder from my grandmothers' adventures to other lands. It fascinated me that one could step off of a plane & be in another culture...another world. As far back as I can remember I dreamed of living in England. To a little girl, that's where all the castles & princes & knights on white steeds are.The yearning intensified in my teens as I read & reread the works of Tolkien. My parents sent me to spend more than a semester in a little village outside of Oxford. The months before I left were a jumble of emotion. I would be thousands of miles from all that I knew. On the eve of my departure I was nearly bursting with excitement & terrified, too. I found my beloved kitty curled up in my suitcase & I clung to all that I held dear....It was a life-changing adventure! My life in England was all that I expected & so much more! I felt like I was finally "home".
Some years ago, I spent 2 long, weeks awaiting a diagnosis which would have given me but months to live. Reality hit me full force & to this day, my initial reaction still shocks me. "I get to go home?!?!!It's really over?! I get to meet my Lord !!!?!" I could almost see the gemstone rainbows, the emerald sea, the Light & the Love from my Heavenly Father...Excitement & anticipation overwhelmed me. Once again, I would journey alone to a home far away. At the same time, I was filled with a deep sadness for my husband, young son, family & friends...& for people I would never be able to reach out to...Was I ready for this? Had I done all that I could? How would I stand before my God & King?
In recent months, I have found myself continually drained of energy. I have written about my struggles with sleep disorders. It turns out that my heart is just too full. My pressure is up & my system is wearing down. In time, all of this will be controlled with doctor's care, but I am reminded of glimmer of Light that awaits me when my work is finished.

Perched

My home is up the hill, behind the trees on the far side of this road.This is the duck pond where I watch the sun rise, & which feeds our waterfall. As soon as my baby knew how to throw, we walked this road to the pond every day for him to throw stones. Years later, as my preschooler & I went to feed the ducks, a man & his young daughter were out fishing near the swing. “Why don’t you get some rods & fish with us”... & so a friendship was born. In recent months, I have written about friendships & the difficulties I have had letting people in...but his family, especially his wife, breached the wall. Our families gathered together for campfires & Bible studies. We wrestled with "righteous anger" together in God’s Word. We gardened together, shared coffee & goodies on the bench, swam, picked blackberries, entertained bored, neighborhood children, chased ducks in the paddleboat... & we became friends.
It seems as though their house has been for sale for years. The signs had become but lawn ornaments to me, though I rarely noticed them anymore. Driving passed a couple of weeks ago I thought, "I should just take them down myself..." & I knew then, as though it had been uttered, I knew...The phone call came but hours later. The house had sold, they would be out in 2 weeks. We will love the new people. She even said, they “couldn’t have hand-picked better people. They mirror us in so many ways...”


The house is all but empty now. The swing is still & all is strangely quiet. The boat has been dry-docked, upside down, as my world seems to be. The patio that once held a wicker world of comfort, is but a concrete pad. The bench where we of whispered & laughed together is now bare of the potted dogwoods. The concrete pelican guarding over the lake awaits a third family. The fallen wisteria arbor on the island will have to be righted by it's new owners. I adjusted the camera exposure in these shots to represent my melancholy...I sit perched, awaiting a new chapter in my life....

Amber Day

I arose just past 4 a.m. & before I even made it to the sliding glass doors, I was stopped in my tracks by what was before me. The moon was nearly full & sat atop the blackened forest silhouette. Over-sized from the atmosphere, it shone a deep amber. I stood still, as though I would waken a sleeping child. It rapidly descended through the trees and then into darkness. With the moon passed, the stars began to reappear & my eyes found a late meteor darting across the sky overhead!!!...& I so often hear, “Why do you get up so early?! What on earth do you do?”...I just have to grin. What a glorious way to start the day!!
I returned home to spy a splash of yellow, set against the forest, just outside my kitchen window. It was the first yellow hibiscus of the season & was nearly the size of my head. (I bring mine in & they bloom off & on throughout the winter. That throws off their schedule).To its' left, the roses are in full swing...at face level, they are a huge cluster to fall into as a pillow of petals. My day certainly had it’s ups & downs…but my attentiveness to God's creations, made it glorious !!!
I struggle with images of flowers such as these & lilies with their long pistils & stamens. On super macro, at times even on macro, it is hard to get things into focus & maintain the balance of the composition. Tonight was truly a God-moment! I rushed out as the "long-light" of the late afternoon, highlighted it's texture. (I will show some of those images another time). God gave me a cue: I could capture the beauty of the center shape & limit my focal concerns by shooting it's silhouette!!!
The yellow blossom will be gone tomorrow...but I anxiously await the opening of 2 double, red ones !!! He is so faithful & good!!!!

A Tint of Green

Arriving home tonight, I found that Tom had cooked an awesome meal of pancakes & "Sunday Eggs". I watched as my dear friends finish the last stages of house clearing. On the way home, I heard a wind-like rustle in the vines next to me & stopped to watch "Pat" the groundhog, making her way over the hills of vines. She knows me well enough to take her time. Her actions were so unlike what I would have expected & she was so close...it really was quite a moment!
I found that I needed some solitude. I set out a lounge chair at the forest's edge & set about watering. That is my real therapy. There is an amazing connection in being the rain that brings life. I sat out well passed dark, watching the nearly full moon rise through the forest as the night grew quiet. The trees began to murmur in a gentle breeze as the cacophony of insect life began their night song. The temperature started dropping & the sky began to fill with clouds. I watched as the moon wove it's way in & out of the shaded cottony down.
This green beauty is the image on my desktop. It isn't the best of the bunch, but it's the one I like. The actual leaf is only about an inch across...a beautiful remnant of one of the earliest to bloom in my spring gardens: a blue columbine. It is an imperfect image. Only one, extremely off-center droplet is in focus & the leaf has many flaws. I like it...a lot. When all was quiet inside, I found myself lost in the soft focus of this columbine leaf. I love the odd focal point & the other worlds held within the droplets. I am mesmerized by the soft-focus juxtaposed with the filigree veins. I feel movement in the conjoined drops set above a diamond about to fall. The way God splashed His warm glow across it bestows a certain holiness to the image & I feel enveloped in His love & care. Lost in this over-sized scene, I am renewed.

...Before We Ask

This will give you an idea of my quirky little part of the world. Atop the cliff, there are a couple of more rises &, perched at the top, you see my home. Clearly, there are perils to raising a boy here.

There are also blessings! When I say, "We look over a lake", I mean that literally. We live between a "pond" & a dammed river/lake. From our deck, I can watch the sun & moon set over the larger lake. When the leaves are down, I simply walk to the other end of my deck to watch the sun rise over the pond. This is an old image & the water level was low due to drought.
To the right of this scene is a waterfall. After heavy rains, we open the sliding doors & can hear the music of the falls, throughout our home. We can also hear the rush of the dam, particularly after it has rained in the mountains to our north. Years ago, my husband & I pined to escape from the hectic life-style of city sprawl. We decided to make this our home as it would be "a great place to grow up." As we sit in our home & listen to the falls, accompanied by the giggles of little boys exploring...we are constantly reminded of how richly blessed we are. God thought of all kinds of details we would never have thought to ask...nor dared to. He knows our needs before we ask. The treasures surrounding our home call to mind God's message to us: "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans for a future & a hope" (Jer. 29:11)